Healing What Hurts: The Birth Chart As A Guide



As an astrologer it's a no-brainer that I am a strong believer that our birth charts offer us clues about those worn and torn parts of us that are in need of healing; the parts of us that have accrued damage over the course of our lifetime due to resentments and hurts. When I look at a tough aspect in the natal chart, like a square, opposition, and sometimes the conjunction I don't see the bearer as a hopeless victim or as someone doomed to a life of failure and unhappiness. What I see is an opportunity for change. I see the chance for a person to manifest the relationships and situations that he or she truly wants in life.

I'll further explain what I mean:

I know a man who for the purposes of anonymity, we'll call George. George was born with his Moon in Libra square his Venus in Capricorn. This means that when it comes to relationships (namely with women as represented by the feminine energy of the Moon and Venus), his Moon’s needs (emotional) conflict with what he loves or deems desirable (Venus). In this case, when it comes to relationship--the area of life where we most use our Moon and Venusian energy, George is comforted by a woman who reminds him of his mother (Moon). However, he attracts and is attracted to women (Venus) who are nothing like mom (Moon). George is totally conflicted by what he needs vs. what he wants. As many of us know, this is a common issue in love. 

Since the Moon in our charts can represent our mother or the kind of nurturing energy we received as children, George probably experienced a mom that was clingy, overly self-sacrificing, and possibly manipulative; as such is Libran energy expressed in a disempowered way. Somewhere in his emotional makeup, George must have deemed or learned to deem his mother's energy as unacceptable and therefore with his Capricorn Venus, he disassociates himself from mom loving women that are detached and self-preserving (the double edged swords of Cap!).   

Unfortunately as a result of this push-pull dynamic, George is encumbered with tumultuous, short-lived relationships because his couple-oriented Moon (Libra) is put off by the Capricorn-like coldness of his lovers. A part of him is afraid of losing his independence but can’t stand being alone. Out of fear and discomfort, George then finds himself taking on his “moonish” qualities in the unhealed dynamic--he becomes clingy and manipulative thereby turning his lovers off. What George doesn't realize is that this tough aspect between his Moon and Venus is an opportunity for him to heal his hang-ups about relationships. This aspect along with the rest of his chart shows his evolutionary mission is to heal and be healed by deep lasting bonds. George is here to learn that there is strength in vulnerability.

In its essence, the birth chart is a guideline, a map. It gives us a clue as to how things work internally on the emotional, spiritual, and physical levels. When we take the time out to tap into the power of our charts, what we actually find is how best to tap into the power of ourselves. We can see where we need to heal and just how to do it.



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Venus-Neptune Aspects: Boundless Love?



“I believe in people like you.” –Drake, “Fall For Your Type”



I have Venus conjoined to Neptune in my birth chart. I have also shared strong Venus-Neptune connections (usually their Neptune on my Venus) with romantic partners.  When it comes to relationships, these chart aspects have usually operated for me in this way:  Meet a guy. Over idealize/romanticize guy within first week of meeting. Discover guy has fatal flaw like a wife, aversion to commitment, a sketchy past, etc. Embark on a dramatic, Hollywood-styled quest to save guy from himself with a love like no other while holding onto fragments of said guy’s soulmate “potential.” Suddenly exit relationship with guy feeling disillusioned and hung over.
  
Sound familiar? It should. This very scenario came to me recently while listening to Jaime Foxx’s “Fall For Your Type.” Now, literally speaking I’ve heard this tune a million times before yet I don’t know if it’s because Pluto (focus) has been hanging out with my Mercury (thought) but lately I’ve been listening to music with a new pair of ears. The track opens with the line “Can I save you from you?”  It then goes on to tell the woes of a man that’s made a habit of falling in love with the wrong kind of women, hoping that his latest love interest won’t let him down like the others in the past.  Venus-Neptune. Oh, Lordy.  While the song is catchy and sordid enough for the radio airwaves, I couldn’t help but to think that realistically, trying to save a person from themselves is one tall, exhausting order. First of all, what makes us think that this person needs saving? Secondly, as Bill Tierney points out in his book Alive and Well with Neptune— what makes us think that we are the only ones capable of the job?

But Neptune (and in many cases Venus) is not into thinking realistically. Reality bites. Oftentimes reality is associated with limitations, restrictions, and boundaries.  In the natal and synastry chart, Venus (love) and Neptune (compassion) connections function to eliminate the lines that separate us from what we hold dear.  What could be more exhilarating and noble than being able to love and care for others without borders? What could be better than a boundless, selfless love? Not a thing, right? People view us as…well… Jesus and we see ourselves as—oh, I don’t know—maybe, Jesus

But what happens when people begin to take advantage of our kindness? What happens when the person/people we think we’re saving either A) don’t want to be saved or B) take for granted that we’ll always be around to pick up the pieces? We may find ourselves beginning to put conditions on our love or worse, becoming martyrs in love and then boom—we look up to find that our spiritual and material resources have been depleted. The buzz is gone and we’re hung over.
 
Still, I don’t want to take up the entire space of this post solely warning of the pitfalls associated with Venus-Neptune aspects. I think there is already enough astrological material out there that covers such issues. After all, it’s my natal Venus-Neptune aspects that have helped to keep me from becoming bitter about the lows that I have faced in life. It’s Venus-Neptune that helps me to continuously see the beauty in the world, while dreaming up and creating a new one. When applied with structure, Venus and Neptune in and between charts can help us to manifest true happiness; just as with two people who have taken the time to do the homework on each other and have built their relationship on a solid (hopefully Saturnian) foundation. The Venus-Neptune connection between them can provide the energy base for a deep, soulful love unfettered by power struggles and self-righteousness (see also: piety). 

In fact, the more experiences that I have, the more I realize that Venus-Neptune aspects function best when provided with a focus, a perimeter—a boundary. As a Sagittarius sun and Aquarius moon—a make-up of two astral energies that LOATHE limitation in any form, I am learning that boundaries are good when they come from a place of love and compassion—they even fuel it. Boundaries give us clarity; they give us the freedom to courageously move forward because we already know where we stand.