“I believe in people like you.” –Drake, “Fall For Your Type”
I have Venus conjoined to Neptune in my birth chart. I have also shared strong Venus-Neptune connections (usually their Neptune on my Venus) with romantic partners. When it comes to relationships, these chart aspects have usually operated for me in this way: Meet a guy. Over idealize/romanticize guy within first week of meeting. Discover guy has fatal flaw like a wife, aversion to commitment, a sketchy past, etc. Embark on a dramatic, Hollywood-styled quest to save guy from himself with a love like no other while holding onto fragments of said guy’s soulmate “potential.” Suddenly exit relationship with guy feeling disillusioned and hung over.
Sound familiar? It should. This very scenario came to me recently while listening to Jaime Foxx’s “Fall For Your Type.” Now, literally speaking I’ve heard this tune a million times before yet I don’t know if it’s because Pluto (focus) has been hanging out with my Mercury (thought) but lately I’ve been listening to music with a new pair of ears. The track opens with the line “Can I save you from you?” It then goes on to tell the woes of a man that’s made a habit of falling in love with the wrong kind of women, hoping that his latest love interest won’t let him down like the others in the past. Venus-Neptune. Oh, Lordy. While the song is catchy and sordid enough for the radio airwaves, I couldn’t help but to think that realistically, trying to save a person from themselves is one tall, exhausting order. First of all, what makes us think that this person needs saving? Secondly, as Bill Tierney points out in his book Alive and Well with Neptune— what makes us think that we are the only ones capable of the job?
But Neptune (and in many cases Venus) is not into thinking realistically. Reality bites. Oftentimes reality is associated with limitations, restrictions, and boundaries. In the natal and synastry chart, Venus (love) and Neptune (compassion) connections function to eliminate the lines that separate us from what we hold dear. What could be more exhilarating and noble than being able to love and care for others without borders? What could be better than a boundless, selfless love? Not a thing, right? People view us as…well… Jesus and we see ourselves as—oh, I don’t know—maybe, Jesus?
But what happens when people begin to take advantage of our kindness? What happens when the person/people we think we’re saving either A) don’t want to be saved or B) take for granted that we’ll always be around to pick up the pieces? We may find ourselves beginning to put conditions on our love or worse, becoming martyrs in love and then boom—we look up to find that our spiritual and material resources have been depleted. The buzz is gone and we’re hung over.
Still, I don’t want to take up the entire space of this post solely warning of the pitfalls associated with Venus-Neptune aspects. I think there is already enough astrological material out there that covers such issues. After all, it’s my natal Venus-Neptune aspects that have helped to keep me from becoming bitter about the lows that I have faced in life. It’s Venus-Neptune that helps me to continuously see the beauty in the world, while dreaming up and creating a new one. When applied with structure, Venus and Neptune in and between charts can help us to manifest true happiness; just as with two people who have taken the time to do the homework on each other and have built their relationship on a solid (hopefully Saturnian) foundation. The Venus-Neptune connection between them can provide the energy base for a deep, soulful love unfettered by power struggles and self-righteousness (see also: piety).
In fact, the more experiences that I have, the more I realize that Venus-Neptune aspects function best when provided with a focus, a perimeter—a boundary. As a Sagittarius sun and Aquarius moon—a make-up of two astral energies that LOATHE limitation in any form, I am learning that boundaries are good when they come from a place of love and compassion—they even fuel it. Boundaries give us clarity; they give us the freedom to courageously move forward because we already know where we stand.